Discovering your kids potential

Do you live through your kids? Or better yet, do you push your kids to be the type of kid/ person you want them to be? Make then participate in the sports you wish you had gotten to try? Engage them in classes and activities to develop talents that you wish you had or had at least been given the opportunity to see if that talent was inside you? I don’t recall feeling this way, or even pushing my older kids into activities, events, social groups or settings that I thought they should be in, but then again that was soooo many years ago, maybe I did and that memory is now gone?!

As my little Turkey gets older day by day and her little personality starts to take shape we have been making a list of the things we would like her to do and be a part of. Dance class because she likes to shake it, tumbling or some sort of class because she loves to get out my exercise mat and workout, maybe a baby yoga diva??? Of course hubby instantly wants her in t-ball, softball, and earning college scholarships playing softball - UMMM NO! Okay I will consider it if SHE really wants to do it!

But it isn’t our job as parents to decide what our kids get to be or become…it is however our job to recognize, direct, and encourage our kids to grow and develop their gifts, skills, and talents to become…a better version of themselves! Does this mean throw them into every class? Sign them up to play every sport? Invest in every instrument?  Well we could but let’s be honest, that would not only burn them out but you have to DRIVE them to everything, support them, pay for it, encourage it, attend the recitals, shows, games…yea this list goes on and on and on! Are you tired yet??? 

“In order to help them (our children) grow and mature to THEIR fullest potential, we must get to know our children, understand them, and recognize their strengths and weaknesses. We must help them discover their unique bents.”   But how exactly are we going to succeed in helping them reach their direction in life?

We start by SEEING THE POTENTIAL! Begin by writing down the potential you see in your child(ren) in these four areas of growth:

1. Mental
2. Physical
3. Spiritual
4. Social

Note the qualities, interests, and/ or aptitudes you see. Share this list with others and especially your child(ren), help them chose and decide what they need to develop these potentials. Always….ALWAYS, be observing and adding to this list!

Together with your child, if they are of age to be able to express their desires and suggestions, OFFER OPPORTUNITIES OF GROWTH! Let them try a variety of things they like, this doesn’t mean bombard them with that heavy schedule of school and activities, but allow them to test different areas of interests. Sometimes this could be as simple as interacting and involving them in activities at home. Do they show a desire to draw? Then grab a handful of paper, some pens, pencils, crayons, markers (you get the idea). Our older gals for about 2 years got tons of art stuff, because it seemed like they were both doodling non-stop and even more-so when they were together. Their room has easels, canvases of all different sizes, pencils, drawing paper of various sizes, tracing paper, every paint color and type you can imagine and twice as many brushes. But the funny thing is, neither of them LOVE it so much they want to make art part of their everyday life…nope it is true, to them this is their way to relax, unwind, share some quality time together and hide away from the world for hours when they want to be left alone! 

Please, please, please, don’t get caught up on the thought that if you don’t put them in every class, every sport, every THING, they will miss out, not become the superstar you think they are who think they could be. We have all heard it, that one child who  doesn’t want to be there, whining constantly that they want to go home, acting out to try to make their point, yet are forced to stay and are miserable.

Now they have found what they want to do, what they excel in….or have the desire to put 100% of their all into something, something THEY have chosen…now what? Have THEM set goals, goals of what they want to accomplish, where they want to go. Encourage THEM to write out realistic and obtainable goals and then encourage them to develop strategies on how they can reach their goals. Have them share and revisit their goals often, because just like you, their goals/ dreams/ desires may change! 

Have any additional thoughts to share, ideas, or other suggestions regarding this topic? If so please comment below!

Erasing Negativity

Did you know it takes at least 10 (yep ten) positives comments to overcome the effects of a negative one (one…ONE…1) TEN to ONE

How many negative comments do you hear a day?

Now…how many negative comments do your kids hear?

It is so easy for any child to become the target of cruel and negative comments and those words and comments are coming at them faster and in different forms than from years ago. Oh thanks technology! Sadly even the simplest nickname could be a negative comment to a child, I know I have a kid with the nickname Turkey! We are working on changing that, currently that nickname is only being used in the social media world…

So is it our job to build up our children’s strengths and put regular deposits in their emotional tank to counteract these negative comments? Oh I really hope you just answered YES! While a child’s self-worth shouldn’t be strictly dependent on the affirmation we give them. We affirm our kids (and others) because our encouragement can provide them with the strength they need to become their full potential.

Encourage means ‘to put courage into, to give strength.’

Are we giving strength and courage to our children each day? Several times a day? Each hour? To help them face life’s opportunities and challenges? Remember TEN to ONE!

Are we able to identify our children’s talents, qualities, abilities? Are we verbally recognizing them? Building them up verbally, emotionally, physically so they can reach for their highest potential? But how do we do this? Or improve on this?

1. PAY ATTENTION!!! Yep put down and away those electronic devices, YOU ARE MISSING YOUR CHILDS CHILDHOOD! Now pay attention to what their interests are, watch them and verbally admire their skills!

To be a positive mom, we need to spend a reasonable QUANTITY of time as well as QUALITY time with our children.

2. Until encouragement becomes a HABIT (it takes at least 21 consecutive days to form a new habit), as parents we need to remind ourselves to fill up our children’s emotional fuel tanks with accolades (praise, recognition). Sadly no one has a ‘gauge’ to let us know when that tank is full or empty so keep filling it!!!

Seize ever opportunity you can to fill that tank. But how can we give strength and encourage our kids?

1. Be specific – children (and others) recognize our sincerity when we use specific details to describe the qualities we appreciate about them.
2. Be prepared – It may seem insincere to you, but prepare positive comments in advance, especially when we know we will be attending events.
3. Be creative – try to use a variety of ways to express affirmation and encouragement, such as a note on their pillow or in their lunchbox, send them an email or even a card or note through the mail (yes the snail mail).
4. Be resourceful – Share scripture versus, meaningful quotes or picture.

What ways do you fill your child or children's emotional fuel tank or erase those negative comments? Have you reference any materials (books, videos, seminars, etc)? Any tips your willing to share?

Positive moms

What expectations do you have for yourself as a mother?

Do you want a spotless house? (Yes please!)
Perfectly mannered kids? (Definitely!)
A long list of accomplishments? (Wouldn’t hurt!)
To be known as a ‘supermom’ (Ummm yeah, why not!)
Or better yet the ‘perfect’ mom! (Now we are talking!!!)

If you are like me you may have a picture in your mind of what a mom ought to be! But is our picture realistic? Or just a glorified status of what society or what we think we should be?

What if we were just positive?

A positive mom realizes that neither circumstances nor people are perfect. She is realistic in her expectations, recognizing that her spouse and children have weaknesses as well as strengths. And most important, she humbly acknowledges that she has a fair amount of flaws too (DANGIT!)

As moms, we bring a variety of strengths, weaknesses, talents, and faults and that unique (and individual) combination not only makes us who we are, but helps us build a loving and balanced home!

So why are we tempted to compare ourselves to other women? Other moms, working moms, stay at home moms, moms to furry kids, women without kids? Is our objective as a woman to be known as the one who has accomplished the most? To win the race? To get ahead? Don’t you think that one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is to stop comparing ourselves to others and live our lives for ourselves and our families?
Sadly this is where I am currently struggling. I don’t know why because I don’t recall ever comparing myself to others. In the past I haven’t cared what people thought of me nor have I compared what I believed my success in life was to others, but now I do? (What??? WHY???)

Some would say I have too high of expectations, set unrealistic goals, am too hard on myself, others say I am who and where I need to be right now. So here is my new goal, I am going to live in the moment and attempt, yes attempt because it isn’t a habit yet, to be and find the positive in my situations especially when I find myself having doubt, comparing myself to others, when my house isn’t as clean as I want it to be, and when it appears things aren’t falling into place when I think they should.

Today, I live in the quite, joyous expectation of good. ~Ernest Holmes