Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Erasing Negativity

Did you know it takes at least 10 (yep ten) positives comments to overcome the effects of a negative one (one…ONE…1) TEN to ONE



How many negative comments do you hear a day?

Now…how many negative comments do your kids hear?

It is so easy for any child to become the target of cruel and negative comments and those words and comments are coming at them faster and in different forms than from years ago. Oh thanks technology! Sadly even the simplest nickname could be a negative comment to a child, I know I have a kid with the nickname Turkey! We are working on changing that, currently that nickname is only being used in the social media world…

So is it our job to build up our children’s strengths and put regular deposits in their emotional tank to counteract these negative comments? Oh I really hope you just answered YES! While a child’s self-worth shouldn’t be strictly dependent on the affirmation we give them. We affirm our kids (and others) because our encouragement can provide them with the strength they need to become their full potential.

Encourage means ‘to put courage into, to give strength.’

Are we giving strength and courage to our children each day? Several times a day? Each hour? To help them face life’s opportunities and challenges? Remember TEN to ONE!

Are we able to identify our children’s talents, qualities, abilities? Are we verbally recognizing them? Building them up verbally, emotionally, physically so they can reach for their highest potential? But how do we do this? Or improve on this?

1. PAY ATTENTION!!! Yep put down and away those electronic devices, YOU ARE MISSING YOUR CHILDS CHILDHOOD! Now pay attention to what their interests are, watch them and verbally admire their skills!

To be a positive mom, we need to spend a reasonable QUANTITY of time as well as QUALITY time with our children.

2. Until encouragement becomes a HABIT (it takes at least 21 consecutive days to form a new habit), as parents we need to remind ourselves to fill up our children’s emotional fuel tanks with accolades (praise, recognition). Sadly no one has a ‘gauge’ to let us know when that tank is full or empty so keep filling it!!!

Seize ever opportunity you can to fill that tank. But how can we give strength and encourage our kids?

1. Be specific – children (and others) recognize our sincerity when we use specific details to describe the qualities we appreciate about them.
2. Be prepared – It may seem insincere to you, but prepare positive comments in advance, especially when we know we will be attending events.
3. Be creative – try to use a variety of ways to express affirmation and encouragement, such as a note on their pillow or in their lunchbox, send them an email or even a card or note through the mail (yes the snail mail).
4. Be resourceful – Share scripture versus, meaningful quotes or picture.

What ways do you fill your child or children's emotional fuel tank or erase those negative comments? Have you reference any materials (books, videos, seminars, etc)? Any tips your willing to share?

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